…because not all help helps.
When codependency hides behind ambition and love gets tangled with addiction, you need someone who can actually name what’s happening.
That’s why this story matters.
Over the weekend, I promised to start sharing more and then I found these sketches in a folder from 2021.
They’re raw. Messy. And yes—I even spelled carat wrong.
But somehow, sketching this figure—and giving it a title—inspired my next step:
The foreword to a story I hadn’t written yet.
A moment that stayed with me for years, but never made the final cut.
I’m sharing it now because what happened still astounds me—and it goes right back to my opening line.
After eight years of ups and downs, I got back together with a man I loved—for the last time.
Marriage was the next step, so we went to great lengths to find a reputable therapist—$250 an hour, no less.
And she didn’t see it.
She didn’t name it.
She didn’t recognize the codependency hiding beneath my high-functioning life—or the dynamic I’d later come to understand as love addiction.
Nor did the two therapists before her.
That’s one of the reasons I’m telling this story—for anyone wrestling with something they can’t quite name.
Foreword:
“You’re getting married!”
Her enthusiasm didn’t surprise me.
She was younger than both of us—professional, poised, and gave us a new sense of hope.
Until that day.
By the third time she said it—You’re getting married!—I recognized something was off.
An awkwardness that hadn’t been there before.
An insecurity—on her part—that made me wonder:
Was it just me… or had he charmed our therapist too?
Next week, I’ll be kicking things off by sharing how this simple drawing evolved into the cover—along with the introduction to 12 short chapters—12 snapshots—spanning eight years and ending with a bold decision to check myself into a recovery center for love addiction—also known as codependency.
Some stories don’t start with a clear beginning—just a moment you realize you can’t ignore anymore.
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In the meantime, thank you for for being on this journey with me.