Why Clarity Beats Hard Work Every Time…

I started my career in P&G’s corporate fitness centers, where each employee’s initial visit began with an assessment:

What was working?

What wasn’t?

What was their desired outcome?

The physical measurements set a baseline, while the internal testing (aerobic response on the bike) revealed their true capacity in that moment.

Only then could we design a program they’d follow—to see real results.

Five years later, after a career pivot, I found myself back in P&G—this time not in the gym, but working on their billion-dollar brands through an agency.

And the truth? The process was even more rigorous.

Before we touched design, we had to understand what was and wasn’t working—both with the business and the brand. That meant assessments, analyzing the competitive set, and uncovering the consumer truth. Every detail mattered: from strengths and weaknesses to future opportunities and risks. Because without a clear strategy tied to the desired outcome, there was nothing to measure design against.

And today? I do the same with women.

Too many try to force their way forward without clarity—

→ Hustling harder in careers they’ve outgrown

→ Pouring into relationships that no longer fit

→ Measuring themselves against someone else’s definition of success

But here’s the problem: building a life without clarity is like building a house without a blueprint. You can pour in effort, money, and time—but it won’t stand.

The real breakthrough isn’t in effort. It’s in clarity.

When you get honest about where you really are—and name your desired outcomes—the gap is revealed. From there, a new trajectory is set, one that directs every step. Not just action, but inspired action that aligns with a vision so tightly crafted it demands mental rigor, discipline, and focus.

The question is never IF she will arrive—the only question is WHEN.

Ironically, it doesn’t matter if it’s fitness, billion-dollar brands, or your own identity… the process is always the same:

Clarity first. Strategy second. Transformation third.

And sometimes the breakthrough isn’t in working harder—it’s in giving yourself permission to pause, reassess, and finally build a life designed for you.

Why doing more won’t get you “there”.

I used to think hustle = success.

The harder I worked, the closer I’d get.

I studied Tony Robbins.

I went to his events.

I bought into massive action—the cornerstone of his philosophy—because I believed the more I did, the faster I’d arrive.

But here’s what I learned the hard way:

Massive action in the wrong direction just gets you there faster… to somewhere you don’t want to be.

If you don’t know what you truly want—

if you’re not aligned with your deepest desires—

more hustle doesn’t help.

You don’t need more doing.

You need a sacred moment of truth—

The kind that aligns your heart with your vision.

Knowing who you are and what you want is the most sacred work you can do.

Because from there, you stop chasing and start leading yourself.

If you could strip away all the noise, what would you love?

If you can simply start there, and trust what you hear, that’s the beginning.

4 AM Courage Challenge

I’ve been waking up at 4 AM for 70 days… because I wasn’t sure how I was going to do this…

On May 3rd I promised to share my story—and I’ve kept that promise, one chapter at a time.

Next weekend, I get to come home to Cincinnati and share the end of Chasing the Carat live, with those of you who’ve been walking this journey with me.

What I didn’t share back then?

I spent two years trying to bring this story to life—hiring copywriters, ghostwriters, even a writing coach I found on a podcast. Her response?

“Your story lacks depth. It’s not robust enough for anyone.”

But every word was chiseled from a memory that meant something to me—and after trying one writer after another, I realized: I wasn’t willing to change a thing.

So I stopped—until May 3rd.

That morning, as I wrote out the date, and recognized that it was the anniversary of the morning I got engaged at the top of the Eiffel Tower. My eyes welled up with tears.

Not because of the engagement, but because my plans had me launching Chapter One—Paris—the engagement story—a year earlier and I still hadn’t done it.

That’s when it hit me, I didn’t walk away from that life to back down, I walked away from that life so I would show up. Hence the commitment.

Since then, I’ve gotten up early each day to figure out how to take my drafts and turn them into something I could share, releasing them one chapter a week—only to be met with messages from childhood and high school friends, old colleagues and even women I’ve never even met who simply said:

“Me too.”

“Can we talk?”

“Thank you.”

This Tuesday, I’ll post Chapter 9: Divine Intervention—the final chapter I’ll share online.

But Chapters 10, 11, and 12?

You won’t find them on Facebook, Instagram, or my website.

Because they’re not just content.

They’re the culmination of everything it took to heal.

Eleven years ago, I flew into Cincinnati and drove across Tennessee and Kentucky, searching for a recovery center.

I spent weeks doing the hardest work of my life—and eleven years living out that decision.

These last three chapters?

They deserve more than a scroll.

They deserve to be witnessed.

CARAT LIVE: The Finale is next weekend.

If something in you knows it’s time…I’ll be in the room.

If you want to know the end of the story, I’d be honored if you joined me.

Some Climbs Aren’t About the Summit

Reflections on Chapter 8: Vantage Point

What does it take to climb Mount Rainier?

Time. Training. Gear. Grit.

A commitment beyond logic—made long before the first step.

And still, some turn back. Why?

After the early mornings, the sacrifices, the belief that it would all be worth it—what makes someone break a commitment they once made with their whole heart?

It’s not laziness.

It’s not weakness.

It’s not even fear.

So what is it?

• Disillusionment? (The climb wasn’t what they imagined.)

• Unexpected hardship? (It became too painful. Too costly.)

• Loss of meaning? (The summit no longer justified the sacrifice.)

This metaphor found me unexpectedly.

I snapped a photo flying into Seattle—never realizing it would one day mirror a deeper truth in my own life. One I hadn’t yet put into words:

Some climbs show you what you’re made of.

Others show you what you no longer need to prove.

And that’s exactly what Chapter 8 of Chasing the Carat is about.

💎 Chapter 8: Vantage Point

In this chapter, everything shifts.

It’s the moment where clarity cuts through the noise.

The moment I realize I’m no longer climbing for the right reasons—and no longer willing to ignore the cost.

This isn’t just about a relationship.

It’s about waking up to how ambition, performance, and even the dream itself can distort what really matters.

If you’ve ever pushed yourself toward a goal—only to realize it might not be the right summit—

this one’s for you.

🖤 Read Chapter 8: Vantage Point now here or visit the MY STORY tab on the site